How to Work with Difficult People

Don’t despair. You can work things out. HR experts agree that opening effective communication represents the key to successfully working with difficult people. And although it may seem unfair, it is up to you to initiate the first conversation. You will need to determine the source of the problem so you can move forward and work together more effectively. Perhaps a difficult person is coping with a personal problem or resents being passed over for a promotion.

But how do you handle the brilliant engineer who possesses irreplaceable skills, yet whose boorish and out-of-control behavior drives others crazy? While you may risk losing this person, unless you confront and deal with the situation immediately, the problem will worsen and you’ll lose even more staff members.

Managers at LTX (Westwood, MA) use a three-point strategy to foster effective communication. It consists of quarterly business meetings between employees and the CEO and president, an open-door policy that encourages employees to discuss any situation with any manager or human-resources person, and access to a wide range of professional-development programs.

The LTX model addresses each situation individually. It focuses on actively listening to each person’s perspective to reach common understanding and compromise. Depending on the situation, the company may send employees to outside training seminars to learn how to work with different individuals and to work in different environments.

“In the majority of cases, we can find common ground,’’ emphasizes Rick Bove, vice president of human resources, at LTX. He points out that situations generally arise as a byproduct of misunderstandings. “Listening is key, each individual has a perspective, and we try to have an open mind.’’

Meet Face to Face
Face-to-face meetings are recommended by Bill Baker, senior vice president of product development at RVSI (Canton, MA). “It’s easy to write or e-mail someone a demand,’’ says Baker. “It is more difficult to do it face to face. But it’s the fastest way to get things resolved and to arrive at a compromise.’’ Talking is the most effective way to work through difficult situations and to quickly achieve an honest resolution of a problem. A face-to-face meeting lets you review facts, explain what you need from someone so you can properly perform your job, and determine how to improve interactions. It’s up to you to take the initiative and set up a meeting.

“The biggest challenge, particularly among technical people, is that frequently they get consumed with their work and ideas. They need to listen to what others are saying,’’ says Patrick O’Hara, the vice president of human resources and facilities at Fluke (Everett, WA). “The biggest problem we come across is that both participants aren’t willing to concede anything to the other,’’ says O’Hara. When they can make concessions, they’ll get their turn to be heard.

Often, the people you perceive as difficult simply lose sight of company goals. As a result, they don’t listen to the needs of the team and of the organization.

Set Team Goals from the Start
In a team situation, establish rules, guidelines, and acceptable behavior from the start. O’Hara emphasizes that you need to make sure all team members understand expectations from the start. Those expectations include team objectives, roles, responsibilities, and measurements for success. By communicating these objectives, you can ward off communication problems that occur when team members lack clear focus or direction and don’t understand each other’s responsibilities.

Coaching along with continuous improvement—improving performance and overcoming obstacles to get the job done—are the keys to success at Teradyne (Boston, MA). Coaching represents an effective way to deal with difficult people, according to Elaine Gentile, manager of continuous learning at Teradyne. It’s up to individuals to take the initiative and actively seek coaching assistance. They can begin by identifying a peer or former manager whom they trust and works well with others. That person can become a coach and help devise a strategy to resolve problems.

You may run into situations, however, in which you can’t resolve problems with a difficult person. You’ve tried to communicate, and you’ve drawn in human-resources people for assistance, but the other person is unwilling or unable to change. Now you need to talk with your HR people so you know how to properly document the steps you took to resolve problems so that if you must, you can follow through with some form of disciplinary action. If disciplinary actions fail to resolve a problem, the time comes when you have to say, “You can no longer work here.’’  T&MW

FOR FURTHER READING
Solomon, Muriel, “Working With Difficult People,’’ Prentice Hall, Upper Saddle River, NJ. 1990.

Paula Jacobs is director of The Jacobs Group, a business communications firm in Framingham, MA. She can be reached at pjacobs@world.std.com